my sister and i are watching a movie and pregaming together. and by pregaming i mean shes not drinking since she 14 and im drinking alone.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
It's ok I'm watering my plants with a 40 in my camelback, people are staring
All I know is he mentioned whips, leather cuffs, and a riding crop. It's like Halloween, Christmas, and My birthday all in one. a 5 year old couldn't even possibly be this excited.
I just realized how early it is, you're taking this booty call thing to a whole other level. also, there are altoids all over my room, that was weird
studying for my Anatomy final and masturbating to Japanese porn are practically the same thing
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
Booty calls should never involve the cops.
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Just assume that every drink in that house has alcohol in it.
I mean, you have to swipe right on someone you had sex with last week though, right?
All I remember is grabbing a random guys dick at the bar and him just saying thank you and us taking a shot together
You haven't lived until you have fucked while Fantasia is on
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
Randomize
