i just wish he would text me so i could ignore his text and show him how little i care anymore
I could write a book called "things that come out of my vagina"
She wants out first dance to be to 98 degrees i do cherish you...remember how i said we didn't need open bar....
She's a squirter....that makes up for lots of other annoying things
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
She won't let me open the car door while we are on the highway so I can throw up outside. She deserves to have her car thrown up in.
He's coming over, and I hope he doesn't get hungry. I'm sure its not proper protocol to bring one booty call to another booty call's house for the munchies.
15 year-old stoners have those problems. we're college students dude. dont be like that...
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
I swear I can't go out anymore. It's like he put a GPS in my dick. I don't know if I should feel awkward or proud...
Got high again and all I want to do is wave this flag around
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I don't even think NICOLE made a fool of herself last night...
your aware she lit herself on fire, right?
woke up to find a case of beer in the oven and a random puppy in the house...guess i had a party last night?
I Never thought my late 30s would end up with me getting eaten out on a desk in the managers office of a lululemon, but I guess being a franchise owner has its perks!
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