You can't motorboat a personality
i just woke up and "where the fuck is taco bell" was in my search engine...
He left the bathroom door open so i would hear him masturbate in the shower to make me feel guilty for not putting out but it just turned me on cause i like guys masturbating. weird?
He looked way older than 15. He probably thought that since I have braces I was 15. Fuck. The 6 year age gap is never to be spoken about. Especially because what happened constitutes as illegal.
dude so we were eating nacho cheese popcorn and chasing it with cole slaw
by the way nacho cheese popcorn is me making popcorn and then adding milk butter and mac n cheese mix
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
stuck in traffic next to occupy boston. smells like patchouli and unshaven pubes
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Too much alcohol and too many lesbians. I can officially say I have regrets now. At least that's something.
There was a deer right in front of me when I came. Sex in the forest is awesome
To me, you're the Patron Saint of good music and handjobs
It's my birthday, dammit, and I'm getting something for free. I don't care if it's just a drink at the bar.
YOU CAN GET THIS DICK FOR FREE
Wanna bang and Pregame work? I know you're the manager just promise to not fire me
Long story short I shit on a sidewalk while walking with multiple people. Then sprinted around the streets of Tallahassee in only gym shorts as I tore my toga off and wore it as a cape.
Randomize
