That's not ass to mouth..... That a rim job!! Are you telling me she licked your asshole?!
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
I faked it too. I just spit on your bed.
gross. I think i'll just donate all my eggs. My children will be incredible, but they're not welcome in my womb
You better of fucked him last night or do it now because he is buying all the roommates McDonald's.
I had to explain to my dentist that my tooth was chipped because we designated my mouth as the official way to open beer. I feel like our level of partying is no longer socially acceptable.
Hey do you have any hot friends that would settle for less?
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
we just ate hash browns in a nativity scene with baby jesus
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
So the remote for the camera in the photo booth must have gotten dropped on the floor. while you were in there. having a threesome. on the floor of the room where my parents stay when they visit me. so thanks.
All I remember is pissing by the garage and the next thing I know I'm on fire
Did I tell you I’m going on a date? His name is Michael and we both like dinosaurs and anal.
we have beer and we're watching the birds have sex in our yard.
Randomize
