My mom came into my room and told me to flip off the tv. I gave it the middle finger. Note to self: STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT
i saw his dick when we were four, so thats kind of ruined for me now
I just woke up with a bunch of French fries in my hand and a chocolate shake balancing on my pillow. Lovely.
At least he's not married... I hate Halloween hookups
I have been running off of weed, alcohol, and Mexican food. What is Tallahassee.
we fucked the fort apart but we'll rebuild it after we get some drinks.
I just headbutted my cat because he was trying to eat my bacon.
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Also, I've finally come to the point in the relationship when having sex with socks on is ok.
It's the 30 sec rule.... the worst that could happen is I could die
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
I told her it would be awesome. We are all the same people. One of us would always be drunk, one of us would always be hooking up, and one of us would always be crying into a pancake.
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Keep your fingers crossed. If I get to go to a Stanley Cup game I'll give you the blowjob he deserves for taking me. Because hes definitely not gettin it.
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