Hi Jason, it's Liz. We dont need you to pick us up anymore. I dont care if you will be here in a milisecond. And you should know im wearing really amazing shoes.
At an apparent methhead hillbilly bar and was smiling for a pic when one toothless wonder screamed "look at all them teeth"!
The only reason you're wearing underwear tonight is cause you have a family dinner before
matt is drinking blue powerade and it looks like he has hypothermia. i can't take this kid anywhere.
around noonish you got carried out for spitting water and throwing cups at old people...
your boyfriend is drunk and yelling to the bar that he loves his cats
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
just chugged some gatorade and threw it up. todays gonna be awesome
im shotgunning beers in the kitchen. alone. the cat is judging me.
they wouldnt let me drive the convertible because i was in a bird suit :(
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
And that kids is the last time I ever try to outdrink Germans
I actually haven't slept with anyone in a while. I think my whore phase is just seasonal.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
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