I used a bag of wine as a pillow last night.
I skipped work to stalk him.
just came on the shower curtain. sorry housekeeping.
It was literally like being eaten out by a dog. That bad.
Snuck into a camper in someone's yard. Hotboxing. Can't wait until they go in it.
Taking a semester off always leads to bad things like having a baby or getting married
He left npr on the whole time when we were doing it. ironic that i lost it on the 100th anniversary of the titanic. thanks michelle norris.
What if we made a bunch of weed butter and then poured the butter into tiny rectangular molds and then chilled it so it was solid again and then wrapped it with the tin foil wrapping from restaurant butter and then left them at restaurants and wreaked utter havoc.
Yeah. I mean it wasn't that awkward. I just made conversation like there was absolutely no lack of pants.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
If that orgasm indicates how the rest of the year is going to go, I need to buy rain boots.
I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
I think all the guys I've fucked in my life would get along perfectly. They'd probably form an orchestra and travel the fucking world. That gives me the slightest feeling of consistency in life which is great.
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
Apparently I’m a terrible influence when alcohol is involved
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