Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
yeah, we don't understand. the wings losing for guys is like girls finding objects in their body..just weird and sad
There is something just so refreshing and wonderful about an uninterrupted morning poop in the office.
new low, shannon just screamed FUCK THE IRISH to a 10 year old's face then proceeded to throw a hotdog at his parents. I think its time i take her home.
He tagged himself in all of my pictures so he would get a notification if someone commented on it.
Restraining orders are what college is about.
.....then i was kicked out of my work christmas party......
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
Just woke up in his bed wearing only his shoes. I don't know how to gently say hey dude get the fuck up and take me home....regardless these are some nice shoes.
Have you ever had chicken nuggets while high? Because it tastes like hearing the Beatles for the first time
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
... and smoked a joint with my new landlord. I'm starting to like Germany.
Dude, I work in two hours. Unless you can find Chris Hemsworth and convince him to have a three-way with us, I'm not getting out of bed.
Oh. My. God. It is NOT okay to drink Johnny Walker when there is no Jameson. My skull is eating my brain.
Life update: This fucking MacBook repair guy called me over last night for a booty call and he didn’t have a condom OR a bed
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