I just made friends with the guy at the coffee shop in borders. And by that I mean he stared at me until I was uncomfortable and left.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
Woke up. Made a pizza. Burnt it. Going back to bed cuz today sucks
Sorry I wasn't really responding earlier. I was really fucking high and so into that car chase.
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
the bartender cut u off when u asked him for his screename so u could IM him later
Listen, don't freak out when you walk out on me masturbating in front of my roommate. No homo. He just needs to be put to his place.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
its before 9am and ive already had to dip my dick and balls in a glass of milk. probably isnt a good sign for how today is going to go.
When did angry sex become our thing?
She's the queen of dating. She managed to get a date with a guy who saw her puke five times in two hours.
I look like a hot mess, emphasis on the hot now, more emphasis on the mess later
With a word you would own me. At your command I would walk to your house completely naked.
Randomize
