I miss you. Just wanted to say that before the drugs kicked in so it's legit.
Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
I woke up this morning to my phone notebook open and written was "reasons why I'm a whore in chronological order" then it listed everybody I've had sex with in the past five months.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
That's what you get for drunk dialing me to ask what kind of flowers I like while outside of a strip club, after telling me you "made it rain"
I'm not drinking anymore...and by that, I mean until St. Patrick's Day.
I just bought $54 in Easter crap to try and blend in the pregnancy test... And FYI, it totally worked.
I found you in the bathroom. You were sitting cross-legged on the floor wearing nothing but socks completely surrounded by broken crayons.
Sleeping in a car was not on my list of plans for the night.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
Came home to my roommate drinking a 40 in the shower. Chugging with his hair still fully shampoo'd.
Our Tuesday night drunk Irish step dancing was on point tonight.
Would I be a horrible mom if I got a babysitter at 6am so I could go get laid.
I'm eating year old chocolate from the trash can. It was in a ziploc bag but still, this is a new low. Help me.
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