we dont do blackfin have a good night :)
As my groomsman, I expect you to learn the Thriller dance with me before next September.
He just kept telling me how to do certain things. It was like I was fucking my sex ed teacher
It doesn't count as drinking alone if you're making rum cake with it.
Also I climbed atop a mailbox with a toilet paper hat and a wolverine claw made of glowsticks, screaming at passers-by that they were going to die. Control me
I fucked a 6'7 Danish man. In the ocean. At 5am. Greetings from Florida!
If after tonight I can still walk on my own, take me to another bar.
Some old truck driver just made me smell his beard I hope tonight turns out better
I'm drinking wine alone, eating leftovers, and cleaning my sex toys. For the love of god, do not graduate.
I think it's awesome that you're getting shower sex advice from a Mormon.
I just got caught impersonating a t-Rex by my boss. Sadly he wasn't fazed by my behavior and acted like it was normal.
When that wave blew your top off I heard someone yell "SPANK BANK"
As a former fat girl, that's probably the best compliment I've ever received ever!
I tried sex in a car once. It was like trying to do yoga in a drainage pipe with your arms and legs tied while using a typewriter with your penis.
I've sent two unsolicited tit pictures in less than 24 hours. I'm the female version of a fuckboy.
from across the room i saw you look into your beer and whisper "i love you"
Randomize
