I don't know where I am but the food in the fridge is awesome.
her name is jenna, so i wanna cunt punt her
that's how i am about ashleys and britneys
Its like we are women, and boise state is a gangster rap song. This game is degrading
He always grinds on me and is like "This is awesome because we're both Catholic!"
Chipotle...archenemy of the gay man. Cockblocking me since 1997
I have a beer in one hand and a slim fast in another. It's another one of those wednesday nights.
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
I'll just put on a bunch of mascara and cry right before I get there. Then everyone will recognize me.
no, you don't understand how much people deal here. All I had to say was "hey lets buy a bag" and he pulled over instantly, then the randoms in the car behind us pulled over and sold us a bag.
He called yelling about whhhhhhiskey and enchiladas I heard sirens in the background last time I talked to him b
I just watched an intern spill two trays of coffee inside a spinning door
Best exit from a building ever
I'm constantly crying, and now I start crying every time I masturbate which is a fun development.
How did the surgery go?
My face feels like a marshmallow.
i keep smelling vagina and donuts, which pretty much sumarises this morning. happy birthday.
Sorry about kicking you last night but you don’t mess with a girls margarita bucket. Ever
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