You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
i am so fucked up that i think i'm playing snood in my head.
well..are you winning?
He told me i was the nicest person he's ever arrested for DUI
Just saw a commercial bout this girl that lost 54 lbs on a taco bell diet. so thats my excuse.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
Drinking wine out of an empty soup can and watching spongebob squarepants.. I eveb hate myself
I know you're trying to keep the moaning to a minimum but the banging on the wall is totally giving you away
Monday: I just need a drink Tuesday: OMG no more this week! Wednesday: oh shit how'd I get drunk Thursday: I'm glad you've stopped the pretenses
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
HIS BALLS ARE HEAVEN SENT FROM THE VELVET ANGLES.
I accidentally sent him a snapchat of my boobs and now we're going on a date tomorrow... Could be worse.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
I woke up on the damn lawn again...it's not even summer yet
There is a baby in my apartment. What the fuck happened last night?
Randomize
