if you're gona send my txt to that site at least change my area code plz
I love watching others lives come down to our level.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
alcohol. turning childhood friends into awkward hookups since the dawn of civilization.
The night started going down hill when she shot the cashier in the face with the confetti gun we bought at 711.
it took me 7 solid minutes to realize "egggGSaucetingf" meant "exhausting"
You should have totally come, I started watering down vodka with cider. I have lost the sense of taste.
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
Maybe it's because I walked straight up to that shelf of vodka with a look of determination that said "I mean business".
I usually have to have a cart! If that doesn't say "I mean business" then I don't know what does
Just spilled a coffee mug full of scolding hot oatmeal on my bare dick. Hope you're having a good Friday night too.
The selfie stick gets 5 stars bc it really added a fun element to my sex tape
Just wanted to share my unfortunate vagina news in the hopes that it would make your vagina feel better about itself.
He literally just laid flat on top of me motionless at one point. It felt less like foreplay and more like he was trying to use me as a flotation device. 0/10
I swear if you help me with this I will eat you out and buy you all the Taco Bell you want.
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