so he shaved. down there. and before he took his pants off i thought it was hot but then all i could think about were the naked mole rats from 7 grade science class.
I'm upset that MJ died and all but waking up to his face on my HDTV in the middle of the night while half-asleep is pretty much the scariest fucking thing ever.
as it turns out, there is no "i was in the pool" excuse for adderall-induced shrinkage.
I had to do a class evaluation today & the girl beside me didn't fill in any bubbles she just wrote in huge letters RETIRE across the whole sheet
way to not show up for Habitat for Humanity, real classy...
I saved lives by not driving this morning
Drank a fosters this weekend and last weekend. Listening to down under 5 times a day. Spent 100 dollars on a sleeveless men at work shirt circa 1983. We don't leave for another 5 weeks. I call it pregaming.
I need to think of the best way to tell this boy he's not getting his pants back
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
Calm the fuck down fatty, you can add creme de menthe to a vanilla shake any time of the year
Got to use the phrase "sweet pukas dude." My day is made.
Yesterday we were fuck buddies and today I'm meeting his mom. That escalated quickly.
I just got baptized.
Drunkenly skinny dipping in a indoor hotel pool is not okay and does not count as a baptism.
I need weed and if he's hot, maybe he can supply me with sex too.
getting my period the day i moved was my bodies way of saying 'congratulations youre not leaving town with anybodies babies!'
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
