Why do all fat girls have "that smell"?
what kind of vibe do I give off that a guy i've never hung out with thinks its okay to send me a picture of his ball cleavage?
Pooping in your heated bathroom to the sound of rain and instrumental guitar might be the greatest experience ever.
Maryland truck stops are full of people with killer mustaches
Why does Corona taste like a burp?
He came all over my face... then said "YOU HAVE BEEN ROBBED!"
What's this douchebags name?
Rob...
He looked at me like he has never had a girl throw up on him before.
If this herpes test comes back negative I'm asking out the doctor.
Forgot to mention there might be a picture of me being thrown in the air while at a Mexican restaurant
you have no idea the dirty thing i want to do to your blad spot. please wear my vagina as a hat.
I wonder how he feels knowing that he's the one who turned me gay
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
Like I'm not tryna become president or marry a doctor or some shit here, like one level above garbage is all I'm asking for
Typical. We're ready to go, and you're not wearing pants.
i made that whipped coffee shit today. took six pouches of instant espresso.
please tell me you didn’t consume six shots of espresso
:)
i can feel colors
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