apparently i traded the tiffany necklace my mom bought me for 2 shots and next in line for beer pong at the frat.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
At best buy, little boy just crawled into my stall while i was taking a shit
Apparently having him hold an open book in front of me while i'm blowing him doesn't count as studying...
I don't think we should have started that trash fire
Laurln. I am dying. I am npt alive. Adderrall is not a real thing. Death is a rwal thing which I understandably
I just got checked out by a paramedic whilst their sirens were on. I'm doing something right
Im going to hell in a hand basket. With a ribbon tied to my head. I'll be like a puppy for the devil.
I used that money i stole from the stripper last night to pay for my date tonight.
DRAW HIM A PICTURE OF SOME FUCING AWESOME THING. LIKE A UNICORN OR SOME SHIT. FANTASTIC.
I need to get off of her emotional roller coaster. I've been on it for a fucking year and I've been throwing up the entire time.
What color nail polish screams, "Either fuck me or get the hell out of my way"?
He lit my hand on fire and bought me chicken nuggets. I'm in love.
You literally brought me back to life and then fucked it out of me
There's so many drinking games in the Olympics.
you missed out this chick was licking her paddle
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