did you get engaged???
on a scale of one to ten, how awkward would it i told him i had to go change my tampon and then left?
11
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I'm at the grocery store, it's 10 am and the woman in front of me just bought 3 boxes of wine. She turned around and told me not to be afraid
The gyno asked how many partners i've had... I said ummmm she goes ok then i'll just put down ten.
I just found a bottle of gin in my vegetable crisper. Party is back on.
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
That dog was the best thing i ever touched
For sure. Gotta go. Building an igloo.
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
But he has cupcakes AND I'm guaranteed an orgasm. .. I feel like I shouldn't even have to actually make a decision here.
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
I also don't hate being called a giant sack of cheese. Is that weird?
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
Randomize
