Grinding on my ninth grade teacher. Dreams really do come true
So I pulled my t-shirt down, pushed my boobs up and marched right into that church!
unlike you, ive never imagined darth vader masturbating
I was more traumatized by the table collapsing while i was going down on you.
I think "banned from Amtrak due to excessive projectile vomiting" would sum up the evening quite nicely.
Going to.goingto.gtoing to DIE DIE DIEEEE......i feel like everyeone impotrant in my life like MLK is judging me.... saddd day
Is this like a "I'm taking you out to dinner and treating you with respect" kind of date, or is this a "I'm gonna fill you with alcohol and cheese and stuff my dick in your anus" kind of date?
Yeah I figured you were blackout when you were Shakira dancing on the floor.
All I know is that I woke up with my pajamas on inside out in front of a bowl of watered down kd. Sitting up. I didn't even make it to bed.
I'm dipping store brand pepperoni pizza in bacon flavored ranch dressing. Obesity tastes so good.
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
he's been 21 for 38 minutes and he's already trying to fist fight this dude over his girl
awwwww babys first drunken mistake
I've been drunk texting you for weeks, and you watched me puke outside your house... I say it's time we meet in person.
God yes pancakes and booze sounds like the best night ever.
Randomize
