normally I beat off every night before I go to bed even though my little brother sleeps in the same room. So I was starting to last night, and he jumped out of bed and said "Fuck, Im not listening to this shit again" We havent talked since. fuck me
I asked my mother if she peed on that chair, she said "not bad" There is no good level of pee on a chair.
well. it's seven AM and i'm too high to hula hoop.
i'd be lying to you if i said i didn't just bring up microsoft excel to make an alcohol budget
We had sex in the bathroom. Then he told me I could watch him pee.
For the record it's 1026 and you told me I could leave you in the bathroom.
She set an alarm on my phone for her birthday. Place: Her bed.
I want a coyote to ride back and forth to the bathroom because walking is getting old
Dinner?
YES CON MARGARITAS POR FAVOR!!!! MUCHO MARGARITAS!!!
I'm going to start referring to my liver is Livy. I feel like if I give it an affectionate nickname it will hate me less. Livy isn't ready for syllabus week.
I think we all know your liver needs a man's name.
It just smells like spaghetti and despair.
It's a good thing he's hot, because it seemed like he was trying to do CPR on my private parts
So. My mom went grocery shopping for me while I was at work & brought the food here. Cool bc my dildo was laying on the counter. Forgot I left it out. I am sure she saw. Im mortified.
I could hear it slapping against his thighs under the robe!!!!!!!!! You are a lucky girl!
I’m not saying you’re wrong, I’m just saying he’s denying what you’re saying.
Randomize
