My mouth tastes like defeat. Did he at least have money?
I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
you kept screaming i cant feel my vagina, it kinda killed the mood.
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
so the party was at my house but some how i ended up being the only one who slept outside
She was holding a turtle doing a beer bong out of a flower watering can.
By the end of the cruise, there was literally nothing in our room he hadn't peed on.
she screamed "gravy"!!! in the guys face and then stole the very large mans food in line ahead of us... that was just the beginging of the police report.
Well... When your girlfriend fucks your sister, the 2 week courtesy window goes out the door.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
He doesn't drink liquor so instead of doing a body shot off my belly button he dropped water in there and sipped it out with a straw. Look at my face: =|
Also bring a pizza or no entry to my vagina OR the fort.
Cheese only
Who put the fucking tampon in my Mike's hard lemonade?
So this morning everyone commended me for puking over the porch. No one else made it that far...
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