what if every blade of grass was a penis?
so i woke up in some guy's bed but then i realized i can atone for this tomorrow
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
phil was outside the bar last night, sitting on the ground playing songs on a guitar hero guitar to people walking by for money...best version of free bird ever
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Of course it's dangerous. Why else would they hire us after we failed the drug test?
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
it wasn't the penis i had been hoping for.....but i took it regardless.
He said he wanted to go to France " just to piss in the nice areas". I want to fuck him.
I just wanted to let u know that I called the taco people and informed them what the fuck is up.
And I'm only telling you that because I really wanted to use 'my boyfriend' and 'dick biscuit' in the same sentence.
I feel awkward giving career advice while naked
Like don't initiate a threesome when we're all watching SPONGEBOB. That's like sacrilege.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
Randomize
