i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
No more parties with babies... I can't do that again.
when i got there he was on top of an air mattress in the middle of the pool with a bag of doritos and a 40 telling people he needed his space.
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
Lost another pound. Switching from beer to hard liquor did this body good.
My roommate took my designated hickey removing spoon out of the freezer.
Very impressive. My GPA is the same amount of orgasms I can offer tonight (valid only tonight): 3.5
i just want to attach a dildo to the ceiling and ride it like a gay spiderman.
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
I haven't heard from him yet. He's either still asleep (which is entirely plausible..... There wasn't much sleeping happening last night) or he's robbing me blind. But I have renters insurance, so either way, I'm ok with it.
I mean, I already saw his dick in person and wasn't impressed so why is he sending me a picture of it, anyway? I hate re-runs!
Awesome. I did a rain go away dance. And it went away. Nbd just cotrollin the weather with my mind and sweet dance moves
you should just get a floor plan of your dorm and start checking off rooms.
Randomize
