He just refered to Steak and Shake as "a good place for couples". I will definitely not be shacking tonight.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
this will be a night to untag.
on the way to the hospital you kept asking if we could stop at the bar first. then you proceeded to puke out the window
I'm impressed you managed to decipher 'annslqllpprebBcncnj' into 'I'm drunk at the Vic, come pick me up and do me on the kitchen table'
Did you shave a certain someone in his sleep last night?
Normally this is when girls give blow jobs. That's how you mentally condition them to put up with PMSing, because they see the shinny blowjob light at the end of the tunnel.
Bang-toberfest begins!!
I just told the toilet I loved it. Bad sign.
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Ya know, one would think a restraining order would keep me from fucking my ex.
I fear our relationship is coming to an end. Last night I felt the need to bloody apologise for waking him up with a blow job.
The adults are the big ones right?
I hear my roommate snoring and I feel bad for his girlfriend but then I hear them having sex and I guess it all works out in the end.
You were so drunk Last night you asked for your glasses so you could read the directions on a band aid
Randomize