I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
So my mouth tastes like dick. Does that explain how our talk went?
Hands down the best time I've ever had barfing.
did you by any chance leave me that 7 minute long voicemail of you running and constantly tripping into bushes?
Is it possible to get a DUI in a wheelchair that's not yours?
they night at the roxbarryed us. came out of nowhere,bought us shots, and then the big one licked my hand? we got out of that noise.
It started with jello shots. It ended with tears.
Tell me why I woke up spooning a hamburger like it was a teddy bear.
Bone him for me, BONE HIM TWICE FOR ME.
A big dick and how quickly they respond to snapchat is all I look for in a guy
I just rode a horse than walked onto my property in boarshorts, flip flops, and holding a 40. What do I win?
My dream of watching a live dick sword fight might never be realized now. Currently sobbing, shots to follow
jusy threw up in the airport bathroom. I am no longer thankful for fireball.
That's a really terrible idea.
Awesome I'm gonna do it then, thanks for the input
I guess it's part of life. Sometimes your ex boyfriend becomes a drag queen.
Randomize
