What's proper 1 nite stand etiquette?
Say hi to his dad and make him some breakfast.
Okay I'm all about any plan that ends with "We're gonna get you drunk."
All i remember was he was wearing billibong pants... well actually my mom found that out for me.
seriously when did my vagina become a soup kitchen for the poor
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
you didn't want to pay for the shots so you negotiated with the bartenders. Apparently 1 shot is worth 5 seconds of motor-boating you.
AFTER I licked the bald guys head they told me we weren't playing
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
We did Irish Car Bombs out of butter trays, the influence of the retired community is astounding- I didn't know people even owned more than one butter tray.
You now have the mental image of me flying off into the sunset with no pants
Doesn't matter if you work at a funeral home. If the boss says get a keg, you get a keg.
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Lots of tissues. Maybe pizza. Only time will tell. The stages of political grief.
I just did my taxes to sober up, I'm THAT hungover
if I was a good friend this would be the time that i would remind you that you have a boyfriend
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