do you know mcdonalds refuses to give out large cups of water now? you have to buy a bottle or they give you a small cup. No exceptions.
RUDE.
I said FINE, then I'd like 7 small waters and 2 of those nifty carrying cases to carry about my h2o.
outsmarted mickey deeeees
Whoa! I think of you when I eat cottage cheese.
i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i scrubbed and i still was a whore
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
Her father's a cardiologist, her mom's a lawyer...she just went from a 5 to a 10 real quick.
Nothing kills the mood when I am hooking up on the dance floor like the DJ saying Happy Valentines.
Hey remember that thing i said about never apologizing for being a hot mess? Well that was before you found me drunk in the hallway with no pants.
Top reasons to NOT leave jessica to her own devices : 1. Drinking becomes a competitive sport ( in which she is the only one competing) 2.big girl words= no worky 3. Whiskey refuses to be a good friend (as much as she insists ). 4. Waking up at six a.m. still in her swim suit is super awkward. 5. It isn't a fun game to figure out which person she gave her number to and 6. Yesterdays eyeliner doesn't look good today.
at the time it didn't seem likely that you would ever find the cake in your underwear
Last night we looked at each other with an expression of "fuck I am so done being normal", took off our shirts, and danced around in our bras
it's like if youve been living with the grinch for 15 yrs and then santa shows up with a big gift begging to fuck the christmas spirit back into you. no one can say no to santa.
I remember it because it was right after the sadness and right before the sluttiness. The calm before the storm if you will
I beer bonged before it even hit 4 o' clock. Please get on my level homecoming style.
you had me at "meet me in the bathroom"
Hahah I’ve never had someone stop me mid-coitus to tell me how amazing I am. Def ego boost.
Randomize
