Dude.. I don’t care how hairy she is, you already left me at the bar, and now I have to find another fucking way home... NOW BE A MAN ABOUT IT!
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
It's a pity Stephen Hawking can't do sarcasm.
I just watched her pee in a trashcan, im still probably going to fuck her, what does that say about my standards
I'm also 95% sure I had a conversation with someone on how hard it would be to jerk off with out opposable thumbs
I AM HAVING A WEIRD OUT OF BODY EXPERIENCE. IN CAPS LOCK.
she cried into her fur with two handfuls of money- she was the physical manifestation of white girl problems
Well call me tomorrow, it's a great story that may lead to me being fired and/or possibly being buried in a shallow grave somewhere out in wine country.
4 girls from the bar, me, strip basketball. here. NOW
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
I was so high I didn't realize I'd put on someone else's bra. I thought my boobs had shrunk.
I can't believe you tried to cock block me from A DIFFERENT TIME ZONE.
I made him fuck me while wearing a Thor helmat from Walmart. Geek sex is the best sex
A true gentleman never tells. But yes, I did indeed get laid last night
Found your brother. He was passed out in the tub holding a bottle of Shatto milk wearing nothing but his tighty-whities.
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