We all just poured out a sip of our drinks for you. One for our pussy whipped homie.
So he says he needs "alone time" a day that he doesnt have to deal with anyone. should i be concerned?
I think in guy language thats " Im fucking someone else and dont want u catching me"
my fart just smelled so bad i acutally gagged
just because you are now my girlfriend does not mean you can text me nasty shit
The girl behind me at the dollar store said couldn't wait to get her permit, then requested a pregnancy test. God I love being home.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
I promise it'll work. Just go there and keep the lights off and keep saying blaowww. She'll think your me.
My internship group is made up of all freshman. Their enthusiasm for education and social interaction sickens me.
Holy crap, church bells in Cibolo just scared the hell out of me. I'm pretty sure they were yelling sinner at me.
When you pick me up at the airport, please have some sort of drugs on hand.
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
Then we woke up and they shouted "Emergency Vodka!!" and that's how we got redrunk.
I have banged to "The Emperor's New Groove" way more than could possibly be reasonable.
I have two bottles of emergency tequila stashed under my desk at work.
You don't have to buy me dinner, watch tv or even hang out if you don't want. Just fuck.
after that bj i gave him, i could fucking punch his mom and he wouldn't give a shit
Randomize
