I would give away a ton of these clothes but I doubt there are any homeless people who dress as slutty as me
20 yrs from now I just want to barge in her house and yell at her kids, "I took ur moms virginity!"
I don't know. I woke up in the back of a cab in a drive thru line at whataburger with police lights flashing and my friend yelling" you didn't have to sell us out phil!" to the cab driver.
I refuse to have another spring break doomed by pregnancy.
in the middle of giving him head in the backseat of my car he taps me on the shoulder, opens the door, throws up three times and then proceeds to tell me how amazing i am.
Nobody is stopping the marines from drinking in class on veterans day. They literally brought a cooler with a bottle of whiskey and vodka on ice. And are passing out red cups to anyone interested. Staying in Vegas for college has officialy become an A+ decision
Not to mention I think lunch is a little inappropriate when our relationship is only based on Mario kart and alcohol so far...
I was like wtf you can warn a girl like hey I have a huge dick and I fuck for hours
Someone google feeding your vagina Advil and Neosporin
What's his name?? He crossfits 6 times a week, works in finance & is into the occasional felony class drug. His name is irrelevant in order to know if I wanna bone him again.
My vagina needs a break, I had to ice it with a beer bottle last night.
Hi, I put a dog in your house, I hope it's yours.
Can I come over and use your shower? My roommate got drunk last night and took my bathroom door off its hinges
so you can go out and drink with me then fuck me, or you can come over when i get home and fuck me, or you can come over before and fuck me, or you can come over before and after and fuck me... so many fucking options
The bouncer just called me magically delicious... apparently I'm a lucky charm. hollllleeeerrrr!
He answered the door stark naked. When I called him on it he shrugged and said 'casual Friday ' Some boys can't be trusted to work from home.
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