Come to the Burger King. We're waiting for you.
420 ftw
Is licking assholes a new fad or something?
My Yahoo Answers account was suspended. Apparently I answered "I like chicks who do anal" to over 100 questions last night.
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Hahaha. I am actually really tight for having a kid. Like really really tight.
drunk pissing on my closed toilet lid is actually quite a sobering experience
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
she basically told me that her vine videos last longer that I do
Um ... did I have a lizard on my shoulder last night at the bar?
How I know we're old. Don knows the owner. The owner said 'How about some shots?' We said no thanks. He looked puzzled and came back later and said 'You know it's on the house?' We said 'Yeah, no thanks.'
This is why people in Buffalo die of heart attacks. This and wings
Well I didn't spend $7 on an Uber just to get limp dick
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Just went to Meijer. Purchased furnace filters, fishing line, red lipstick and pregnancy test. And if my purchase alone wasn't classy enough, I took the pregnancy test in the Meijer bathroom because Im on my way to the bar and wanted to know if that was a good idea or not. Cheers to no babies!
Randomize