You thought that the "chillable" logo on the box wine was referring to a city in italy.
got high and went straight for the Doritos. I'm some kind of walking cliche.
and if it starts getting weird im just going to tell him i used to be a man
I'm pretty sure God is rooting for me with this two gf thing
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
I vomitted in the hotel where they film gossip girl last night. Everywhere.
i shall enjoy my approximately 2 hours of being sober today
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
After my mom met Tanner, she literally turned and said "he's from old money, top of his class at Emory, already has doctors courting him for jobs and judging from your vocal performance the other night, he's gifted in bed. Fake a pregnancy right now"
I come from her. Holy hell.
Something bad happened. I'm just giving you some notice. So you can smoke some pot and hide all sharp items in the house.
Well I have rug burns in both armpits, somehow. So yes you should have been here
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
He just jumped up off the couch, screamed "ITS OVER NINE THOUSAND!" And then attempted to fly out the window like a bird. I don't know nor do I care to know what just happened
Bruh, I wanna absorb into the deck.
I wanna become a plank.
God I love xanex.
Bruh. You offered the cashier tater tots that you had stuffed in your pocket.
Yeah, and? She might've been hungry.
Randomize
