There are 3 speedbumps now up. Think you can manage the urge to piss on them?
Aw shit! That's like putting me a in a room full of Captiain Crunch Donuts and Jasper Hale and not letting me put my mouth on either.
You smell like stripper and shame
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
we've been dating more than a month and i just realized there's no hair on his chest..
you've had sex with him. you must've seen him naked.
nah, i feel like naked sex would be getting too serious for us..
She looked like a pterodactyl.....but dude i love dinosaurs
i was thoroughly upset that he did not want to be my number 16, who passes that number up?
gpnpr hd vmdd nm the ggrl whm was mn my lar
I need you to use more vowels.
A zombie called me motorboat central while participating in an auction to motorboat my tits. he then proceeded to propose, insisting that he makes alot money.
You were sitting in the tub, clothed, squirting my KY all over yourself. You said "it's warm." then passed out.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
I'M NOT EVEN STOPPING FOR WINE SO I CAN GET TO THAT DICK QUICKER.
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
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