woke up with peach flovored chap stick on my taint ! dont ask why i know it was peach
i just woke up in the hallway. not my hallway. i officially raise my hand to be DD next week.
the taste of these tagalongs is totally worth boning that creepy troop leader chick...
Watching marley and me... this girls got me whipped man
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
The countdown is at hand. We are 15 days from so much Jameson that names will be forgotten. Prepare your liver now or severe projectile vomiting will be the theme of the night.
I'm an approx 70% certain someone switched my UV Blue for Windex - just as volatile as you might think.
Dude just bought the table 3 bottles of champaign and broke one on the floor as his "signature" and he makes me want this recession hit harder
i always handshake my one night stand, im classy like that.
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
I vomited out my contact lenses last night
I just bought two cartons of ice cream, 5 boxes of mac and cheese and a bridal magazine. Don't judge me.
Can you get the dildos out of the shower before the maids come?
My New Year's resolution consists of less weekday hangovers, more sex, and more money.
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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