Yes give me all the cream and he's gone
just got 3 freshman girls to makeout with each other at a toga party! score!
why is this not a picture message?!?!
The nurse gave me a funny look when I said I thought I have an std in my throat. Bet she only does it missionary too
Hey it happens. Think of it this way- you didn't wake up in jail, your face wasn't inexplicably busted and you still have all your teeth. In this group of friends, you're on top!
I'll be so proud. Like a proud mama bear freeing my slut cub into the wild.
NEW INFORMATION meech found me passed out on a bench outside.
You know you've got awesome issues when the main deciding factor of whether or not to cut your nails depends on nacho consumption in the near future
So I'm guessing that puking on a camper is a straight path to instant termination?
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
So far my survey results are telling me to pawn the ring. Thoughts?
I'm gonna fight the coyote
Bro.. I am absolutely going to have sex with our old middle school health teacher
WHY IS THERE A GOLD FISH IN MY BONG??
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Randomize
