I think my penis got bigger when i lost weight
she took her bra off and it was like the puppet strings had been dropped. her tits totally deflated.
So the answer to your question is yes, I was masturbating on the roof of my building.
Yelling drunk tank or bust at a cop, not a good idea
When u wake up, don't be alarmed by the passed out mariachi band, they're cool. Muchos gracias
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
Chose not to courtesy flush and the CEO huffed the result. I feel powerful.
Just made a bong out of a pineapple. So yes.. And champagne is about to be popped
Oh my god and he smells like heaven wrapped in a beard of knowledge
I really have to stop going to the movies high. Spending $10 to not know what the fuck is going on is starting to get pricey.
While I appreciate the pity sex (seriously, THANK YOU) we should not do it 3feet away from my ex when he's passed out next time. Awkward.
Just because you are home alone for the weekend doesn't mean you can act like a nudist.
I accept your opinion but respectfully disagree. Also, I'm sitting in your chair.
Sorry if that was awkward, i will never call you sober ever again
Come over. Bring drugs. My sister is making cookies. She took Valium. They should be badass cookies.
She really wants to hug you. With her vagina.
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