you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
hitting rock bottom=girl fakes converting to christianity in order to get out of having sex with you.
GM filed for bankruptcy, all the dealerships closed, and it's june and I'm in jeans and a sweatshirt and I'm cold. What is the point of living in this state anymore?
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
My mind hurts. I feel like I drank sand yesterday.
I mean it's not my fault he had a floor mat that read "put out or get out". What was I supposed to do?
Hey that girl we tagged team last night invited me to her birthday on Facebook, remind me to be sick that day.
Makes Sense, i generally dont want the same person two days in a row. Its like what i pick for supper, i like variety
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
It was so small.
Tiny. Got to love sexting. Imagine finding out the old fashioned way.
The stall at this bar had mirrors all around. I just looked at myself take a shit from like 3 different angles
And today, on Faces I'd Like to Sit On .... The starting line up of the German National Football team
Things that have happened since you moved: Lemmy, Bowie, Snape, Prince, civility, democracy, Carrie Fisher, all dead. Record flooding down here. Twice. This is clearly your fault.
His bedroom is the preferred destination of MILFs, cougars, recent divorcees and sexually frustrated wives
His penis is my hero
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