I just wanted to let you know that if you dont tell me to stop texting i will still keep on trying, you matter to me
restraining order is on its way, crazy bitch
Dude, just walked by a homeless guy pissing on the sidewalk while he was screaming at his wang. God, I love this city.
Jon and Kate are totally playing with my emotions.
i mean i care more about their marriage then my own parents
Wow anytime a scalper has i need tix written on the back of a franzia box thats a trusted seller
Okay I woke up in my room, snuggie on, had a water bottle in my hand my tv was on Disney channel and my cigarettes are gone. And I deleted every text in my phone but one that said 'you are absolutely welcome'
I shouldn't have to thank you for taking off your captain hat off before we had sex
Last time we were that stoned we made a "everything you can fit in the blender" shake. Didn't end well..
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
I'm just gonna get real fat and join the circus.
You shouldn't do laundry high cus pink.
Someone came into our hotel room and took our remote
What should I do?
THE VODKA TRAIN IS NOW PULLING INTO THE STATION
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
And then he served me a piece of a brownie on his dick. It tasted amazing. Such a good night!
This is an alert from the drunk police: you have reached the point of no return. Text messages past this point are illegible.
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