you kept talking about how hot andy milinakis is and the things you would do with him. no more tequila from him.
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Fun Fact: The stage were about to graduate on is where we once drove a van and kidnapped someone.
Fun Fact 2: My parents are sitting by the bushes I peed in this weekend.
i dont even feel safe using a push mower...that hungover
good, we got high then went swimming. shelly forgot to keep swimming so we tied her to the ladder in the shallow part with her bikini top.
Repeat the weekend mantra. "I like boys with teeth, I need boys with teeth, I deserve boys with teeth, I will have boys with teeth".
Is re-gifting a Valentine's Day present worse than re-gifting a Xmas one?
You're unbelievable, unbelievably awesome.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
I'd let you fuck my husband in the future, that's how much I love you
Someone stole a lamp last night.
I already left my house once this summer. Maybe we could do something in October.
Lets get drunk. But not too drunk that I can't work in the morning. But maybe drunk enough so we'll make out
HE IS. YOU SHOULD TOUCH HIS BACK.
IT IS A COURTSHIP RITUAL.
THE MUTUAL BUTT TOUCH IS SACRED.
Woke up to find that I was cock blocked by no more than three people.
Randomize
