I want to stick my p in your. b.
This kristen chick is fuckin nuts. She's pyscho. She's a trainwreck. She carries baggage. She's... Perfect.
Apparently the library doesn't care about celebrating the day Jesus became a zombie.
So recap time do u remember biting that girls hand?
I'm pretty sure this is how polyamorous relationships begin.
I can trace it back to that drunken night where we peed on each other in the shower.
Dude, you're only mentioning the Bro Code so I can't get any
I woke up with a massive hangover and realized I still had an entire bottle of tequila in my car...so yeah, working on tomorrow's hangover.
sooo trippy being back in town after 5 years. if you had asked me in high school who would be future coke heads, i would have been way off
I was so fucked up last night that I peed on his FATHER'S BED and fell asleep there. and yes. his father was asleep in the bed
The highlight of the trip was definitely my dad telling me that I "used to be his prettiest daughter."
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
If we were teenagers we would intentionally be trying to burn down this historic landmark
if being 21 means slamming 99 cent margaritas at 3:00 in the afternoon on a Tuesday then call me Peter Pan IM NEVER GROWING UP
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