Fiestas. Its like a classier verson of mardi gras.
youre talking to a girl on facebook chat right now and im sitting behind her in class lol. creepy?
I dont even clean my room anymore .. i drunk proof it for when i come back smashed with a guy
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
On the brightside though, I found the motivation to clean my shower, it was right underneath my need to masturbate in said shower.
If I am going to pay someone to make me puke, it's going to be the bartender.
I just woke up to three dick pics. Apparently in my blacked out state. I was asking for them as the new valentines day card.
You know you drank too much last night when your mouthwash tastes like water
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
On the way home there was a guy passed out IN the road on Colfax with his pants around his ankles, completely bare assed. If he was dressed as a speed bump, he succeeded.
I just want to dump glitter on my floor and roll in it like a cat in catnip.
Whoever decided to put a Denny's that close to the strip club is a genius.
You're right. Cause really... I'm in the back of his head. Even though what I said was better than "I have herpes"... I did once say that to him. So I'm like a reoccurring nightmare.
Went to waffle house after dropping my sister off at school and got into a heated argument with a drunk/hungover philosophy professor I will not name. I won the argument.
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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