let's skip the party, and just play drunken wii, again. its time to give my vag a break.
She was really sick last night--but i was too drunk to bring her chicken noodle soup after the bar, so went by taco bell and got her a chicken burrito instead
Were making a bet for which twin will relapse while in rehab. I'm going for the chubbier one
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
Why did 20 jello shots in a row sound like a good idea last night?
They kept trying to slap each other but they were poring beer onto their hands first referring to it as their baby powder
So it turns out rose was the bear hunting girl. Fuck my life
None of those words made sense together.
there is a hole burned clean through my text book on forestry law and I saw you walking around with a blowtorch last night. Hope you have $160 on ya...
Do you still have "be bumpin" written on your ass in glitter pen? Who brings a glitter pen to a bar? Or pulls there ass out for that matter...
Crappy Mother's Day to you! Those of us who don't have children fill the void with hot sex, sleeping in, more sex, leisurely suntanning, foreign travel, overseas sex, paying cash for sports cars, watching TV, having sex on the floor in front of TV porn, lounging around the house, or whatever the hell we want.
I just came so hard I growled. Definitely found my gspot.
I just tripped over a but plug that was on the floor. It's 430 in the morning
It's only considered alcoholism if you're drinking from something other than a cup....right?
I need an outfit that says "thanks for hiring me" but also says "i want dick in my mouth".
I got locked into my place today. You might be wondering if that was a typo... It's not.
Randomize
