her voice honestly makes me want to vomit. i have springsteen cranked up all the way.
Hey its my first time.
I think you mean "it's my first time"
I think we should see other people.
Already working on it.
You went to church with your boobs hanging out?
Theyr'e a gift from god, I figured I should show him i'm using them well.
You probably havent been upstairs if you think that the microwave missing its door is bad
She loves me even though she knows all Ive done. Shes kind of like jesus.
there seems to be a considerable amount of hair missing from my left hand. i may have lit it on fire again
I've been trying to brush my teeth for 20 mins now... Mother of hangovers.
this lady just pulled corn on the cob out of her purse
People like that make this world a better place.
I wish i could just live off of margaritas and good sex.
my brain is opting to stay half drunk rather than relearn how to think. the rest of me is in no position to argue.
Seriously considering modifying my computer case so it can dispense wine. I need to make a bunch of changes and reorganize it's guts anyway....
I'm over being sad. I'm now onto thinking about all the ways in which he is a total fuckwaste
I tried to think of the best possible thing I could do for my 30th birthday, and the finalist is "get a clit ring"
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
Randomize
