If it were my dying wish, would you come over 2nite 2 save me?:):):) wana come anyways?
I think I'd remember a dick in my mouth
like if they didnt have tits and vagina, they have no idea how uninteresting to us they would be
Sex and the city 2 and twilight getting released in the same month. God hates mankind.
It's official, my little sister has hooked up with more girls than I have.
There should be a blender full of rum, tea, and grape jelly in the freezer. She thought it was a good idea until she blew chunks.
I locked the porch door but I left a spare key on top of the keg on the side of the house
Wow. I feel like a bad friend. My fuckbuddy wished you a happy birthday before I did. The reality of that just hit me.
You came over, called every girl Comrade Heather, and then declared that you were an Eagle, and we were your young.
So all in all, a good night.
I couldn't tell if they ere dancing or fucking but they won the costume contest
holy fucking shit get me out of here. even the babies are wearing beanies
I didn't even mind that he came early I just wanted to get eaten out and cuddle
I was playing 'If You Had To Fuck One or Die' with the old composite pictures with a guy in the bathroom line. They were all pretty ugly so I go "You can tell this is a lower tier frat"......turns out the guy was a brother
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
Protip if he licks the back of your knee and you reflexively kick him your game of 'lick the lady' is over.
Randomize
