I might come over and watch a movie but I can't spend the night. my parents would wonder where i was
you're 26.
I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Gordon Ramsey's restaurant in NY is $150 each for the chef's menu
So you're taking me there this weekend?
oh, looks like he just opened a new restaurant right by us- it's called "McDonald's". Must be scottish food.
He had on juicy sweatpants and thats when i knew he was no longer a threat.
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
I'll be heading downtown with donuts and a lawn chair at 9am to go Halloween Walk o' Shame spotting.
Just paid a $5 cover at a bar I stumbled by so I could puke in a toilet and not in public.
Call me when you get up. This hang-over is like dismantling a bomb: I need someone to talk me through it.
The bar would not accept my money. I have reached God status here
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
Your uterus is safe from my father's misconstrued prophecies.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
So after the absinthe shots_____(fill in the blank area for me please)......
Come on in. I'm butt naked, in the kitchen, eating ice pops
Grandma keeps pulling a bottle of captain from her pocket and spiking people's drinks.. She just yelled "I'm DAMN HOT to be a grandma!" .. I LOVE HER.
Randomize
