Billy Mays died!
I know. And the US is beating brazil...what's wrong with the world?
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
She tags her boyfriend in all of her pictures on her heart...
I guess on the plus side everyone really, really enjoyed my nipple clamps
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
What I love about college? The kid tripping balls has a kayak made readily available to him on any given Wednesday, Saturday, or Sunday.
From russia with love. But also with chlamydia.
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
you 2 were alone in the living room and the dog walked in and you started yelling what are all these people doing in here
Everybodys gonna want to make out w me dressed as big bird
Big bird is like some childhood daddy fantasy come true for carnival
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
Why were you doing tequila shots out of Boston Pizza dip containers?
...I just melted into my bed. I am one with the bed. I am 600 thread count.
My neighbour just came round to ask why we posted a spatula through his door at 3am. What do I tell him??
What the fuck were you guys talking about?
Lube wrestling.
Oh, makes sense.
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