College reaches a new low. We just carved a shot glass out of a potatoe.
i can't believe i haven't brushed my teeth. and i just kissed my grandma. I'm going to hell.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
I'm just sayin. Is it sad that I spent my last dollar on a hamburger just to get a paper bag to huff out of?
just turned my empty handle of passion fruit smirnoff into a fish bowl. I love college.
I just remember dedicating a shot to me giving you head so it was obviously a good night
Paris has not been good for her. Everytime she has a one night stand from a different country, she buys a mini flag and tapes it to her wall with the others
I think it says something about my sobriety when I don't notice a Taco Bell wrapper stuck to my ass until I'm in the shower...
After last night I think its official. Deep down, we like alcohol more than we like women.
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I had to write an apology letter to my roomate for hotboxing in our bathroom. What a bitch.
7% of guys ive been with can get me off... I did the math!
I was just thinking about if my bath water turned to jello and got a little freaked out
On my way to return shoes I bought so that I can afford to buy a pregnancy test. Is this adulthood?
She fucked a bartender in a closed Applebee’s and has the nerve to call me easy
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