Have fun fixing the bed from last night Bob Villa.
At least you didn't call me Brittany this time
I just saw a commercial for "tickle me elmo hands" and I am almost 100 percent sure that at the end elmo said "yeaaaaa boooyyyyyy"
There are rumors he has a square penis....ill do anything though....
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Dude totally calling you out on watching when harry met sally on netflix on demand on april 8th.
The saltiness of my tears mix perfectly with the tequila.
I just remembered our "im drunk enough to look at your vagina" conversation. Is that offer still valid? I really think I need a second opinion
I'm hiding her cosmo magazine. the only sex tip she needs is to not handcuff her boyfriend to her roommates bed and lose the key
Oh my god what did I do. My hands are scraped, there are pickles on the floor, my clothes are wet, and I don't remember how I get here. Thank you.
Dude, I had to stop mid fuck. Her cat was swatting at my balls as I did her from behind. I couldve lost something.
him being a republican bothers me way more than his coke problem.
sorry I called you to cry about the state of the neopets economy
So will your sis find it a compliment if I tell her I lost out on some awesome dick to go to her bday dinner???
There is a guy down by the river wearing a zebra print speedo and a sombrero, with a beer in each hand, screaming "This is America bitches!"
But once you are just right and I work my tongue in the right spots and hot wax your balls and inner thighs. I will have you right where I want you.
Who is this?
Oops wrong number
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