I wishh there was a lost and high section in walmart cause I would be there right now
at least franzia made me throw up pretty colors.
Did I show you my penis last night?
i decided what we are doing for your 21st b-day: camelbacks filled with margaritas
Dude I live in a fucking closet and still get laid every weekend. Figure it out.
Yup, totally tried cooking bacon in the dryer last night.
Is everyone touching their nose at me a sign that I should stop snorting vicodin off my phone in the bathroom at school?
He'd pee in it. And since it's PBR I'd have no idea
Well five day drinking adventure in appreciation of cinco de drinko under the belt, great way to start may
I grinded with the guy who brought the scooter, I'm leaving with success
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
Apparently last night I yelled "the cops were called on a mother fucker and that mother fucker is me." And then proceeded to exorcise a sandwitch.
Just had sex in the room next to my parents. Heading back to school ASAP.
I think I hear the ice cream truck
I could be going crazy though
NO IT IS THE ICE CREAM TRUCK IT'S ALMOST AT YOUR STOP
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