He looked like the mexican version of Steve Carrell with a unibrow.
What did we do last night that was yellow?
i blew a .213 what kind of thug blows the compton area code exactly? this guy
Call me pathetic, but saying "tits for ireland" is working out really well on chatroulette today.
The bouncers kicked us out around 3 so we went to the grocery store flasks in hand and asked them to turn up their music...
All I remember is having a LONG talk with a 23 year old mother with a 5 year old kid at a bar who told me "it's not that bad"
Just spent the last 5 minutes laughing at my epipen. i think i'm too high.
No more jager for that guy. He jacked the neighbor kids big wheel, rode around making jet noises, then passed out behind the wheel and rolled it and broke his wrist
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
Ever wonder what all the drugs you've ever done would look like put together?
Heaven. . It would look like heaven
I'm the only person I know who could have actual sex and then dream about my vibrator.
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
WEED BROWNIES! He put weed in my brownie mix! And he got it from YYYYOOOOUUUU!
Look at the bright side mom. After 20 years dad is still capable of surprising you!
Shut up Max.
It makes me so happy that my local liquor store has a black lab that is there every day. Really tho - it makes the higher prices excusable.
btw...it's noon and i'm sitting here drinking wine and eating pixie stix. I really need to find something to do...
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