she was hot for a redneck and i dont look at teeth
you are the sluttiest virgin ive ever met
thanks it was an honor just to be nominated
Just deleted any ex boyfriends and potential lovers from my phone in preparation for Vegas...
No joke. Last we saw of him he was naked and dragging that stupid goat into the bushes.
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Thanks for last night. Sorry if i was obnoxious. I respect your morals and i wouldn't want you to lose your virginity to a drunk girl in your mom's prius.
So i forgot that my head is completely wrapped in gauze, and tried to do the "come hither" look. He think's i'm brain damaged
Just FYI, I'm breaking up with my boyfriend tonight and you need to be on call to be my first rebound bang
I woke up and he was starring at me and then said "do you believe in miracles"?
Just beer bonged tequila, broke into the hotel next door and got chased by security. It's spring break
I'm just mad because I can't play gta5 all day tomorrow cuz I'll be in court testifying against a craigslist prostitute...
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
Would it defeat the purpose of a run if I ran to McDonalds?
Just did the "lost my phone, need #'s" post and I got a text saying "go ahead and save me as Ashley-DD because I know you will anyway. I think I love her.
Randomize
