i know he has to tuck it when he gets excited in public and all, but now he is just starting to show off.
and you tried to get a free burrito from Potbelly's
It's cute how he thinks we're going to have sex again
I told him I don't date guys unless they play a musical instrument. So, he's here and he brought a kazoo.
He was supposed to take me to a nice dinner, but istead all he did was get drunk and throw lit fireworks at me.
This girl has a mullet weave. I missed oakland.
My judgement was not "clouded". My judgement was in the midst of a fucking hurricane or something ridiculous.
I'm mumbling to people and trying not to accidentally shit my pants
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
Then he shook the next streetlight but this one broke and fell over. He told me, "This is the part where we run."
I didn't even have pants on and you think I had an agenda
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
When God made him he put all his talent in his dick. What he lacks in brain, he makes up for in loin.
He just kept repeating "It was like meep meep meep on my balls."
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