My parents came down to check and make sure I wasn't into any mischief then proceeded to give me alcohol.
You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
note to self..putting cheap vodka in a bottle of grey goose does not make it taste better
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
He scored a 8.5/10 on that girls powerpoint. Of course I slept with him
Apparently she ran into the Emergency Room declaring "ROOM, PLEASE" as if she were checking herself into Holiday Inn.
well its a long story but basically i overcame many cockblocks
Fixing to yell "you're too hot for her" at a Gerard butler look alike. There is absolutely no way this is going to end well...
Never thought I'd say this but I just want to go home, ice my balls, and pop a Vicodin.
bad sex. bad bad bad. it was like trying to pick up an overcooked noodle with an empty pringles can. why do these guys always seem to find me?
Getting haircut. The stylist asked about the body paint dried in my hair. I told her there was prob glitter, too. It was a fun night!
Because sadly the idea of me having a girlfriend is crazy enough to be an April fools prank
I need to calm my uterus...
My weirdest encounter with a stranger though was when for some reason they just gave me a box of unopened socks. Needless to say, I never used them.
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