I hate myself for knowing the words to party in the USA.
i have a surprise for you that looks bigger since I found my body hair trimmer
Struggs. It's also 90 degrees out but I'm not sure I can feel heat or cold any more. Too hungover.
Divorce is final. Doing tequila shots at 1 in the afternoon.
Not only is he in the circus, the man survived a near death experience and has an accent. She might as well have found a unicorn. This shit just doesn't happen in real life. Where did she meet this magical creature?
there's nothing weirder than waking up to your mom eating breakfast on the couch that you fucked her coworker on last night.
Also I just had a flash back ... He told me I have nice nipples and then asked me about yours..
if you guys find pieces of my teeth don't throw them out please
When you accidentally text the wrong guy for a dick pic and your surprised you get one In return. He just got on my "to do" list
When breakfast is a rum &coke at the office Christmas party you know it's gonna be a good day
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
Walking actually physically hurts. We should do it again some time.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
How much have you had to drink?
Qhaghao Oslo?
That seems like quite a lot.
Randomize
