I just googled "buy xanax online". What is wrong with my life?
i walked into his room and he was eskimo kissing his weed..
what is with people arguing over soda or pop? to be honest i thought it was just called chaser
You were peeing on yourself thinking it was the sprinkler in your yard
Does hooking up with the gay pledge count as hazing?
I'm putting "buy a bottle of scotch" on my "productive things to do to procrastinate studying for finals" list
Just doin' what I do best: sitting in a stall in the class building's bathroom, pondering life and exploring deep, dark corners of the internet before class.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
He crawled over to me grabbed my boob asked me if I liked cats and then passed out. If that's really my RA, it's gonna be a long year
I feel like I've been hit by a truck, flew up and landed on a fence post that went straight through my vagina. No more vodka and sex for a while.
Do you know of any good hiding spots in the Atlanta area?
There is a high possibility I will pass out with my hand in a bag of Doritos
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Someone keeps hanging up bible verse posters in the bathroom stall I masturbate in at work.
Randomize
