what do you have against ST
DO NOT ABBREVIATE LIKE YOU AND STAR TREK ARE FRIENDS.
And just as he was about to come, he screamed "Oh Christy!!"
What's wrong with that? Your name IS christy.
He then said, "Oh shit, sorry Julie."
he whispered in my ear that he would be upstairs and i should come up. i stayed downstairs. he came back down and repeated to whisper in my ear. this happened about 5 times until he passed out.
Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
I want to apologize 3 days in advance for what's about to take place on St. Patrick's day.
I'm in the grocery store cradling a box of wine like it's my firstborn, so of course this would be the first and only time I've ever seen my boss outside of the office.
He probably tastes like german chocolate and coffee beans
Seriously though, my ovaries are trying to crawl out of my body and into his pants.
how do you ask an olympian for your underwear back?
He started tongueing his parfait and told "thats what I'd to your ass" in the middle of Starbucks. Of course i brought him home
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I vaguely remember losing my underwear to 2 chicks in a bathroom. That drunk.
My boyfriend and my fuck buddy are going to the strip club together... Should I be concerned?
Why is there bacon in the couch?
I think my dick has healed enough that we can start having sex again
Also fucking you night and morning and then serving your parents breakfast is a bit awkward. And funny. To me.
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