dude i just saw the hottest 13 year old but she was kinda ghetto.
ID DO HER
SHE HAS LUMPS OF DEODORANT IN HER ARMPIT, I THINK ONE FELL IN YOUR DRINK
As it turns out, strippers don't accept checks.
definitely just fell out of bed trying to plug in my phone. when did laziness start getting painful?
She's running around bumping into to people trying to keep a balloon she filled with vodka in the air. Please tell me she has a secret off switch you didn't tell me about.
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I'm eating captain crunch out of a cup half full of beer so idk
I wanna borrow his axe at this point and cut my head open just to relieve some pressure
I woke up with masking tape on my nipples this morning........... WHY DO BAD THINGS HAPPEN TO GOOD PEOPLE
I mean, I was going to use them for a beading project, but I guess I could take one and let you bat my dick around like a cat toy.
Never let the horse trainer ride you, always ride the horse trainer. I have huge bruises on my thighs from his hip bones. That's how hard he rode me
I went to the nurse and she literally told me I was too sexually active and wrote me a prescription for 7 days of pelvic rest...... Hahahhahaha
There. There is gum on my butt cheek IT IS NOT MINE
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