Having kids is risky. They might end up weird.
Your cum is still running out of me. I pity the next person that tries these jeans on....
I've reached too hung over to move status will you bring me something to drink?
I moved out 2 weeks ago remember?
Can you ship it to me then?
It'd be a romantic, consensual abduction
Amazing how you can get from "Merry Christmas" to sex in three texts.
I could have done it in 2
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
Sex aside I am really scared about Syria...
You don't know how skeptical I was about letting a guy with braces go down on me
I just really wish I could go back and unsex him. Waste of my vagina.
In going to go underground and live with the mole people for a while.
WHEN JENDA BENDA THE DRAG QUEEN TELLS YOU TO RUN, YOU RUN, BITCH!!!
I only drink at bars with bathrooms big enough to have sex in.
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
You had sex with a Scottish dude with a peg leg....how could I NOT tell that story??
Pretty sure he was in my class in like 2nd grade
I like how you know everyone I've ever fellated.
Randomize