so, totally just picked up a pack of red bull, and some magnum condoms and the old woman at the register's tone went from "hi blah how are you" to "oh....how YOU DOIN'?" she knew what was up
i just woke up i smell like fire, i have bruises on both knees and one elbow, i have a lighter and nip of smirnoff blueberry in my bed, rug burn on one hip and about 12 pics of you and me on my camera-this needs to stop happening
yea ive got to shower which is going to be painful given the skin burns from the blowup obstacle course races last night
if I end up fighting someone to save $15 on a toaster oven then something went wrong earlier in life
just had an encounter with drunk people from out of state at dairy queen. they wanted to stay till march to see the high school play.
remember last night when you and I took turns yelling THIS IS HUGE in my dogs faces? I love wine night.
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
she's doing key bumps of parmesean cheese
I woke up and took my shirt off, and there was what I was assume to be pieces of tree in my chest hair. Any ideas about that one?
I used the picture of my mom and I doing blow job shots in Vegas in the presentation for my Spanish final. Graduation here I come.
im destined to be single forever. i hope its okay if your kids come and hang out with my cats.
Oh my god I just remembered I bit a stripper last night.
I pulled a muscle last night drunk dirty snapchatting him
IM NOT TALKING TO YOU UNTIL YOU MAKE A PROCLAMATION YOU LOVE ME MORE THAN TACOS
Well shit, I would've slept with him if I knew he was gonna be in the draft.
I am the murdurer of this scooby doo episode
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