Manager just farted into the intercom. Whole place heard it. A number of people stopped everything and looked at him. Best. Night. Ever.
I'm like a new puppy, everybody wants to touch me
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
I'll pull you in a wagon. You'll have a sash and a crown on and we'll sing "All the Single Ladies"
nah, they dropped the charges. apparently ripping his junk when he tried to hop the fence seemed like punishment enough...
She wanted to roleplay. Apparently you be snow and i'll be a plow wasn't an option
At least you got a round of applause for dancing like vanilla ice across the street and into the bar. Even as you were getting carded
I gotta say, I do way better with the ladies than I do the men. So if it turns out being gay is a choice, then I'm going to go ahead and choose it.
I'm starting to question if I'm gonna need to bring a raincoat just to drink around u
U act like I can cum on command
He put his burrito in the bag with his dildo.
I doubt the gods of funday Sunday would exact such a high price... But it's good to know an afternoon with me is worth a left foot.
We played wedding bingo. I made out with the maid of honor and fucked one of the bride’s sorority sisters. But I needed to get with the groom’s cousin, a mother-in-law to be, or the wedding planner to win and I came up short.
He showed up at my house drunk with a pizza and said he wanted to lazily finger me while I watched supernatural. Who was I to say no?
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