I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Last night Brynn convinced every person at the party wearing glasses that they stole hers, and she woke up with 8 pairs of prescription glasses in her bag.
This morning I saw a frozen puddle in front of my RA's door and I laughed, assuming someone poured water in hopes that she would slip and fall. That's when my roommate told me I had peed there last night. Thank you Captain Morgan!
curled up in a ball on my bed listening to my "cuddle with a boy" playlist. prettty high.
Excused from finishing the term project because my lab partner got arrested. For the second year in a row. Public school, I love you.
You want to move to a city because of their promotional beer pricing
So?
This is why you shouldn't make decisions
Just coat-checked 2 backpacks full of 40's...it was the bouncer's idea.
When I get home we should play "let's see how many Christmas movies we can watch before we start having sex."
While you were hooking up with her I pulled you off to make sure you knew what you were doing.
You said you were "testing the product for Chris."
I'm a bad man.
You should photoshop their heads on tigers first!!
For my parents' annivery card? How high are you?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Every now and then I'll meet one who is talented in the art of shower gymnast.
He claimed he was the best ass eater of the south. He was right.
Sorry you felt insulted last night let me rub your butt in remorse
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