you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
She just flushed the toilet with her head inside it...
You hopped on the counter after puking, and told us you were wearing bare feet and didn't want to be alone.
made the entire pub sing the british national anthem, puked, rallied, then peed in a telephone booth and have pictures to prove it, taking tourism to another level since 2012.
I NEED TO GET TO THE PLAYGROUND. I JUST NEED TO SWING. IF I SWING MAYBE THE SMELL WILL COME OFF OF ME. I NEED TO SWING
It was his first time doing shrooms and we made him ride in the truck bed. But he kept standing up and yelling when we stopped so we had to keep driving
This is John, I met you downtown last night.
Oh, ok.
This is the cop that kept you out of trouble last night
we came into the house to find you doing shots by your self and when we told you to stop you locked yourself in the bathroom...
did I at least say anything...
you meowed at us and said you're a cat and cats drink for a living
I'm pretty sure NORMAL roommates don't have to hide each others sex toys from their fuck buddies.
Wait..I'm drunk and butt naked making a pizza. Happy Wednesday.
FUCK YOU AND YOUR WEAK ASS EYEBROWS
he looks like the poster child for myspace how the hell does he have other hoes?
Why would you call when you knew I'd be having sex!?
Why would you answer?
I made out with the hosts' boyfriend, infront of her, drank way too much, slept in my car and convinced everyone that I'm really a nice person. If that's not skilled lying, I don't know what is.
Randomize
