You are a beautiful, beautiful young lady. Your heart is made of tissue, blood and love. I will call you very soon, Princess Sophia.
I just saw a like a 30 person deep walk of shame... it was like the million man march but with dorm chicks
bubblegum was invented today. we're getting drunk. end of story.
I'll be honest, not actually surprised to find half a Big Mac box and bits of broken security glass by the sofa.
i look like a southern belle. however, i am around a million kegs. so i will be a southern shitshow.
Just broke my collar bone. May not make it to the party.
God this is like a meg Ryan movie without the restaurant orgasms
I feel like captain Morgan put his peg leg up my ass
I know it was a good night because I got a lecture from my roommates mom about stranger danger
He tried to tell me that that stripper was his aunt..
Another beautiful Sunday, another beautiful day the stick is not positive. Amen.
i got kicked out of McDonald's for demanding a margarita mcflurry
He's nice to look at and knows the difference between your and you're. I win.
I will be DAMNED if anyone but me breastfeeds my cat.
He's completely obsessed with his ex but gives phenomenal head. So overall, yeah, good first date.
Randomize