I think the phrase "bag of smashed assholes" describes it best
I learned much from the teen babysitter: I can light a cigarette in a microwave.
PS, you're not being slutty, you're "making dreams true."
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
She frightens me and turns me on at the same time. She's a keeper
Restraining order pending?
Holy shit I've found my last one night stand in my Gran's knitting club
On a scale from 1 to banned, how offensive do you think it would be to wish my vibrator happy Valentine's Day on various social media outlets?
He just stopped me mid blow job so he could text his wife asking for TacoBell.
She doesn't even give a fuck about angle. I seriously gotta start doing like penis yoga or something.
No ive been in the mountains getting high and baking cookies with a 4 year old
Everythings in imax form. Space oddessys are formed. Adventure at every moment and everything is epic. My mouth hass lemons. Yum.
Where do you think black out memories go?
Into the dark abysmal abyss of the deepest, darkest part of your mind. It's obviously the bodies natural defense to protect you from witnessing the shit you do while actually blacked out.
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
I woke up in a bathtub full of green and blue Nickelodeon slime! wtf?!
Why does my mask smell like doritoes?
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