So i had sex for a couple seconds last night
If it was for sex do you really think i would asking for a mass vote? I'm like fidel castro when it comes to sex. No public approval needed.
ha so i just found a picture of you eating paper towels and many of Laura freaking out from it.
I just told my boyfriend I think I might be pregnant using Emoji icons....
which icon did you use to tell him he's not the father?
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Realized I'm still to drunk to comprehend work emails. Marked them all as unread. Here's to responsible hang overs.
marshmallow pipe was a success. so was melon pipe. come try it
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
We had sex on the beach. I was completely naked except for my sneakers. That's when you know
But I'll just tell people it was a bar fight... Sounds a lot better than "well I was drunk and alone and eating Special K naked in my bed"
What exactly is it about Doctor Who thigh high socks with a matching shirt that says "take me I'm yours!"
I have drunkenly angered a family of raccoons. Please send help immediately.
So I totally had sex In a teepee last night at that wedding reception.
You wouldn't eat with utensils. You insisted on making your own spoon out of a bendy straw and staples while singing "I'm a survivor" by Destiny's Child.
When I told the bartender it was my 21st birthday, he looked at me all pissed and said "But you've been drinking here as 21 for the past 2 years.." How do you THINK the night went?
So I take it free shots were a no after that?
Randomize
